Okay, so WHY do you test, and what impression does this have on a partner with a HEALTHY outlook on relationships?

To see how deep your partner’s feelings are, and how far he/she is willing to go to “keep” you

Scorpio’s Perspective:

The logic behind this one makes sense. Scorpios give their all in relationships and will trek through hell and high water to make them work. They stand to lose a lot if their partners aren’t as committed to the relationship as they are. In order to secure their investment in the relationship and makes sure it’s a safe one, Scorps will test their partners by pulling away from them or by doing something to upset or alienate them, such as flirting with members of the opposite sex to make them jealous (shows that their partners really care for them). This may or may not be done consciously by a Scorpio. Scorpios expect that if their partners care about them as deeply as they do, then they will still cling to them when they engage in this behavior, that their partners will not walk away from them, and that they will keep on trying to make the relationship work because they are THAT committed to their Scorpios.

Partner’s Perspective:

My Scorpio is pulling away from me/upsetting or alienating me, and it hurts. If I did this to my Scorpio, he/she would pitch a hissy fit, try to get back at me for it, and wouldn’t stand for it at all. Yet, I’m supposed to go out of my way and make a jackass of myself to prove to my Scorpio that my commitment is solid. My Scorp isn’t willing to put himself/herself out on the line here – I’m supposed to lie prostrate the ground and allow him/her to walk all over me to prove that I’m for real. If I do this though, my Scorpio is going to assume that he/she has a blank check to do whatever he or she pleases in the relationship, and that I will always come back. Before I know it, my Scorpio will be cheating on me and expect that I will stick around, out of my sheer commitment to him/her. If I give an inch, he/she will take a mile. This IS NOT proving my commitment – This is submitting myself to gross psychological and emotional abuse.

To see how trustworthy and loyal your partner is

Scorpio’s Perspective:

In theory, this sounds like it works. Scorpios are rumored to be intensely trustworthy and loyal, so naturally, they would expect the same of their partners. Scorps are not going to give themselves away for free to a person who doesn’t appreciate these qualities and hold them in high esteem, only to be pissed on by their partner… So, what do they do? They test them by pulling away, or by observing how their partners interact with members of the opposite sex, or by sometimes arranging for someone to hit on their partners (believe it or not), among many other tests. Once again, this behavior may or may not be entirely intentional on the parts of Scorpios. If their partners are going to pass these brands of tests, they can’t decide to leave their Scorpio for someone else or flirt with others, regardless of the fact that their Scorpio might be deliberately provoking them in some cases.

Partner’s Perspective:

My Scorpio doesn’t trust me, yet I am being put through these tests that are shaking my trust in him/her, in order for me to prove my trustworthiness and loyalty? Mistrust only fosters more mistrust. Why would I waste my time proving my integrity to a person who is showing me that he/she doubts my sincerity from the get-go (read: someone who I cannot trust)? My Scorpio is suspicious of my intentions and wants me to prove my integrity by manipulating me and putting me through these underhanded (untrustworthy) ordeals – Is this not hypocritical? Would my Scorp trust a person who was playing these kinds of games with him/her? NO – Scorpios hate being manipulated by someone, because it means the person has ulterior (untrustworthy) motives! Also, what exactly is my Scorpio’s definition of “loyalty”? From what I’ve observed, it means never, ever interacting with/talking to/acknowledging a member of the opposite sex, even if he or she is my boss or professor. Passing these Scorpio tests IS NOT proving that I’m trustworthy or loyal – This is me allowing myself to be victimized and willingly assuming Stockholm Syndrome (wanting to be bound and controlled by my captor).

Conclusion from the Partner’s (Healthy) Perspective:

If my Scorp is really serious about me and cares about me so much, then why am I being put through this all of this pain? Isn’t the foundation of a healthy relationship trust and a mutual give and take interaction? It seems as if my Scorpio only takes from me, and is never willing to give. My Scorpio does distrustful things, and expects me to prove that I’m trustworthy despite this fact. If I accept and submit myself to this unlimited testing, this is going to turn into a one-sided and abusive relationship. To prevent this from happening and to salvage myself, I will not respond to these tests and will leave my Scorpio.

SCORPIOS – If you’re involved with a psychologically/emotionally sound individual, unchecked testing is a surefire way to destroy the relationship. Just be sure to weigh the pros and cons of what you’re doing before it’s too late, and the person you care about most gets a wake-up call and walks out of your life…

First Meeting: We met at a university party. He walked in and started talking to a couple of friends, and I remember thinking, Hmm, he’s cute, but I am probably not his type – and I couldn’t really be bothered to flirt with him to find out. It wasn’t insecurity. At some point, we just started talking about Download Music Festival, but that was for like 3 minutes.

Transition (when we started signaling our interest): We didn’t really get a chance to sit down and have  a proper chat; it was tidbits here and there. But I was just cheeky and playful with him, and he seemed to like that. The only other thing was that at some point he caught me spanking a guy’s butt - I was just fooling, lol – but I remember thinking, Crap, I have to stop, and I did. I was friendly with other guys, but not as touchy. When we randomly shared hugs, they were long and had that extra whumph that made you not want to let go. I asked him for his number, which he gladly provided. I bought a burger at some point, and I remember how avidly he watched me eat it. I liked it but hated it. I never did finish that burger. It was quite tasty, but I couldn’t finish it with him watching me like a hawk. Blast.

Action: He started talking about how he couldn’t get this song out of his head, and that he had to go and listen to it. I asked him to let me listen to it, so we went to his room and lounged on the bed. Well, at some point we started kissing. I initiated it – I’m impatient, lol – and I thought it was going to be your run of the mill kiss, but it wasn’t. All of  a sudden, I felt like I had unleashed a ferocious demon, because that boy … wow.  He surprised me a lot that night. We didn’t sleep together, though. I let him know that I only get with guys I am seriously committed to. He respected that, but it was still a night to remember. He did try to get me outta my clothes, but i didn’t have any of it. I was able to match his stubbornness.

Reflection: Well, it might have only been one night, but he managed to slip under my skin and get past all my armor effortlessly. I felt like I had met the guy i was gonna be with, but alas! it wasn’t to be.

Aftermath: I paid dearly for that wonderful night sans sex. I got emotional trauma, I couldn’t stop thinking about him at all. I had serious withdrawal symptoms; my dark side showed its face. I sent him a message and told him that he didn’t exist to me anymore and that that night hadn’t happened. Worst part was that I kept seeing him – we have lessons in the same building – and every single time I’d catch him looking at me. It was like someone stabbing at a barely healed wound. Even though i hated him, I still wanted him.

Decision: I decided that I really couldn’t go on the way I was, so I decided to send him a message informing him of how exactly I felt in fine, scary and deep detail. At the end of this message, I told him that I didn’t expect him to reply to the message and that I didn’t really want him to either – even though i did. He didn’t reply. Sigh. I showed my best friend the message. She said I shouldn’t have sent it and that it was too deep and too soon. She was right, and I knew that at the beginning. I just didn’t care, I wanted him to run – like men do in these situations – and kill any hope I had that we could be together. After my best friend’s reaction, I decided to write a 5 sentence message basically saying that it was a false call and that I didn’t really feel that way about him. This was a complete hoax. I still liked him way too much. (I still do, but it’s getting slightly better.) Anyway, he didn’t react or anything. I simply can’t read him, but after that last message, well, I saw him by the elevator and the expression on his face was thunderous. (I’d hate to think it was loathing.) Since then, i’ve texted him asking if we could be friends, and all I’ve gotten is silence.

Interpretation: Last time I saw him was at a movie viewing with a bunch of our friends at his house, and he kept fidgeting where he was seated. I left early, didn’t really see the point. The movie was crap and nothing was going to happen. Since then, i’ve only seen him once and he didn’t look too bothered. We are always passing by each other. There is no other way to put it, but he has pretty much moved on. Sigh.  I wish he hadn’t, but there is no other way to interpret it. There’s no hope.

Evaluation: Tangling with a Scorp is dangerous but exciting. Just be extra cautious and keep your wits and emotions about you until you have a ring on your finger. Am kidding. Do it until there’s no confusion about the fact that you are his woman. Even though it was over before it really started, I feel like I came close to knowing what it feels like to have been completely connected with someone. Mind and soul. I probably sound like a naive girl, but I wasn’t until he came into my life. At least now i know not to believe beautiful lies. They are good people, just really hard to understand. I hope you didn’t mind my sharing this story with you guys.