First Meeting: We met at a university party. He walked in and started talking to a couple of friends, and I remember thinking, Hmm, he’s cute, but I am probably not his type – and I couldn’t really be bothered to flirt with him to find out. It wasn’t insecurity. At some point, we just started talking about Download Music Festival, but that was for like 3 minutes.

Transition (when we started signaling our interest): We didn’t really get a chance to sit down and have  a proper chat; it was tidbits here and there. But I was just cheeky and playful with him, and he seemed to like that. The only other thing was that at some point he caught me spanking a guy’s butt - I was just fooling, lol – but I remember thinking, Crap, I have to stop, and I did. I was friendly with other guys, but not as touchy. When we randomly shared hugs, they were long and had that extra whumph that made you not want to let go. I asked him for his number, which he gladly provided. I bought a burger at some point, and I remember how avidly he watched me eat it. I liked it but hated it. I never did finish that burger. It was quite tasty, but I couldn’t finish it with him watching me like a hawk. Blast.

Action: He started talking about how he couldn’t get this song out of his head, and that he had to go and listen to it. I asked him to let me listen to it, so we went to his room and lounged on the bed. Well, at some point we started kissing. I initiated it – I’m impatient, lol – and I thought it was going to be your run of the mill kiss, but it wasn’t. All of  a sudden, I felt like I had unleashed a ferocious demon, because that boy … wow.  He surprised me a lot that night. We didn’t sleep together, though. I let him know that I only get with guys I am seriously committed to. He respected that, but it was still a night to remember. He did try to get me outta my clothes, but i didn’t have any of it. I was able to match his stubbornness.

Reflection: Well, it might have only been one night, but he managed to slip under my skin and get past all my armor effortlessly. I felt like I had met the guy i was gonna be with, but alas! it wasn’t to be.

Aftermath: I paid dearly for that wonderful night sans sex. I got emotional trauma, I couldn’t stop thinking about him at all. I had serious withdrawal symptoms; my dark side showed its face. I sent him a message and told him that he didn’t exist to me anymore and that that night hadn’t happened. Worst part was that I kept seeing him – we have lessons in the same building – and every single time I’d catch him looking at me. It was like someone stabbing at a barely healed wound. Even though i hated him, I still wanted him.

Decision: I decided that I really couldn’t go on the way I was, so I decided to send him a message informing him of how exactly I felt in fine, scary and deep detail. At the end of this message, I told him that I didn’t expect him to reply to the message and that I didn’t really want him to either – even though i did. He didn’t reply. Sigh. I showed my best friend the message. She said I shouldn’t have sent it and that it was too deep and too soon. She was right, and I knew that at the beginning. I just didn’t care, I wanted him to run – like men do in these situations – and kill any hope I had that we could be together. After my best friend’s reaction, I decided to write a 5 sentence message basically saying that it was a false call and that I didn’t really feel that way about him. This was a complete hoax. I still liked him way too much. (I still do, but it’s getting slightly better.) Anyway, he didn’t react or anything. I simply can’t read him, but after that last message, well, I saw him by the elevator and the expression on his face was thunderous. (I’d hate to think it was loathing.) Since then, i’ve texted him asking if we could be friends, and all I’ve gotten is silence.

Interpretation: Last time I saw him was at a movie viewing with a bunch of our friends at his house, and he kept fidgeting where he was seated. I left early, didn’t really see the point. The movie was crap and nothing was going to happen. Since then, i’ve only seen him once and he didn’t look too bothered. We are always passing by each other. There is no other way to put it, but he has pretty much moved on. Sigh.  I wish he hadn’t, but there is no other way to interpret it. There’s no hope.

Evaluation: Tangling with a Scorp is dangerous but exciting. Just be extra cautious and keep your wits and emotions about you until you have a ring on your finger. Am kidding. Do it until there’s no confusion about the fact that you are his woman. Even though it was over before it really started, I feel like I came close to knowing what it feels like to have been completely connected with someone. Mind and soul. I probably sound like a naive girl, but I wasn’t until he came into my life. At least now i know not to believe beautiful lies. They are good people, just really hard to understand. I hope you didn’t mind my sharing this story with you guys.