Okay, so WHY do you test, and what impression does this have on a partner with a HEALTHY outlook on relationships?

To see how deep your partner’s feelings are, and how far he/she is willing to go to “keep” you

Scorpio’s Perspective:

The logic behind this one makes sense. Scorpios give their all in relationships and will trek through hell and high water to make them work. They stand to lose a lot if their partners aren’t as committed to the relationship as they are. In order to secure their investment in the relationship and makes sure it’s a safe one, Scorps will test their partners by pulling away from them or by doing something to upset or alienate them, such as flirting with members of the opposite sex to make them jealous (shows that their partners really care for them). This may or may not be done consciously by a Scorpio. Scorpios expect that if their partners care about them as deeply as they do, then they will still cling to them when they engage in this behavior, that their partners will not walk away from them, and that they will keep on trying to make the relationship work because they are THAT committed to their Scorpios.

Partner’s Perspective:

My Scorpio is pulling away from me/upsetting or alienating me, and it hurts. If I did this to my Scorpio, he/she would pitch a hissy fit, try to get back at me for it, and wouldn’t stand for it at all. Yet, I’m supposed to go out of my way and make a jackass of myself to prove to my Scorpio that my commitment is solid. My Scorp isn’t willing to put himself/herself out on the line here – I’m supposed to lie prostrate the ground and allow him/her to walk all over me to prove that I’m for real. If I do this though, my Scorpio is going to assume that he/she has a blank check to do whatever he or she pleases in the relationship, and that I will always come back. Before I know it, my Scorpio will be cheating on me and expect that I will stick around, out of my sheer commitment to him/her. If I give an inch, he/she will take a mile. This IS NOT proving my commitment – This is submitting myself to gross psychological and emotional abuse.

To see how trustworthy and loyal your partner is

Scorpio’s Perspective:

In theory, this sounds like it works. Scorpios are rumored to be intensely trustworthy and loyal, so naturally, they would expect the same of their partners. Scorps are not going to give themselves away for free to a person who doesn’t appreciate these qualities and hold them in high esteem, only to be pissed on by their partner… So, what do they do? They test them by pulling away, or by observing how their partners interact with members of the opposite sex, or by sometimes arranging for someone to hit on their partners (believe it or not), among many other tests. Once again, this behavior may or may not be entirely intentional on the parts of Scorpios. If their partners are going to pass these brands of tests, they can’t decide to leave their Scorpio for someone else or flirt with others, regardless of the fact that their Scorpio might be deliberately provoking them in some cases.

Partner’s Perspective:

My Scorpio doesn’t trust me, yet I am being put through these tests that are shaking my trust in him/her, in order for me to prove my trustworthiness and loyalty? Mistrust only fosters more mistrust. Why would I waste my time proving my integrity to a person who is showing me that he/she doubts my sincerity from the get-go (read: someone who I cannot trust)? My Scorpio is suspicious of my intentions and wants me to prove my integrity by manipulating me and putting me through these underhanded (untrustworthy) ordeals – Is this not hypocritical? Would my Scorp trust a person who was playing these kinds of games with him/her? NO – Scorpios hate being manipulated by someone, because it means the person has ulterior (untrustworthy) motives! Also, what exactly is my Scorpio’s definition of “loyalty”? From what I’ve observed, it means never, ever interacting with/talking to/acknowledging a member of the opposite sex, even if he or she is my boss or professor. Passing these Scorpio tests IS NOT proving that I’m trustworthy or loyal – This is me allowing myself to be victimized and willingly assuming Stockholm Syndrome (wanting to be bound and controlled by my captor).

Conclusion from the Partner’s (Healthy) Perspective:

If my Scorp is really serious about me and cares about me so much, then why am I being put through this all of this pain? Isn’t the foundation of a healthy relationship trust and a mutual give and take interaction? It seems as if my Scorpio only takes from me, and is never willing to give. My Scorpio does distrustful things, and expects me to prove that I’m trustworthy despite this fact. If I accept and submit myself to this unlimited testing, this is going to turn into a one-sided and abusive relationship. To prevent this from happening and to salvage myself, I will not respond to these tests and will leave my Scorpio.

SCORPIOS – If you’re involved with a psychologically/emotionally sound individual, unchecked testing is a surefire way to destroy the relationship. Just be sure to weigh the pros and cons of what you’re doing before it’s too late, and the person you care about most gets a wake-up call and walks out of your life…

The following are points of note as related from many women sharing the same madness of relating to these dark lords of the underworld. Does this sound familiar?  Or have you gone mad too?

• “He treats me like I’m not good enough but he talks about me like I’m too good for him.”
• “He’s described his perfect woman, down to specific details, and I’m all of them but he won’t commit.”
• “We have these very emotional/dramatic/intense moments and then he suddenly pushes me away.”
• “Everything seems like it’s the opposite with him or he tells me it’s actually the opposite regarding thoughts/feeling/behaviors.”
• “He’s still hung up on his ex but he won’t let me go.”
• “He seems more outgoing/talkative/friendly with other people than me.”
• “He appears to treat insignificant people in his life with more importance than me, despite the fact he tells me I’m important/his soulmate/the one he cares most about.”
• “He’s noticeably jealous of other men in my life but tells me we just won’t work as a couple.”
• “One day I’m sure he’s madly in love with me and the next I feel like he couldn’t care less about me.”
• “Sometimes I get the impression he loves me deeply but that it scares him and he fights it.”
• “He mentions things about us in the future but won’t commit to me right now.”

What confusing thing has your Scorpio man done?

First Meeting: We met at a university party. He walked in and started talking to a couple of friends, and I remember thinking, Hmm, he’s cute, but I am probably not his type – and I couldn’t really be bothered to flirt with him to find out. It wasn’t insecurity. At some point, we just started talking about Download Music Festival, but that was for like 3 minutes.

Transition (when we started signaling our interest): We didn’t really get a chance to sit down and have  a proper chat; it was tidbits here and there. But I was just cheeky and playful with him, and he seemed to like that. The only other thing was that at some point he caught me spanking a guy’s butt - I was just fooling, lol – but I remember thinking, Crap, I have to stop, and I did. I was friendly with other guys, but not as touchy. When we randomly shared hugs, they were long and had that extra whumph that made you not want to let go. I asked him for his number, which he gladly provided. I bought a burger at some point, and I remember how avidly he watched me eat it. I liked it but hated it. I never did finish that burger. It was quite tasty, but I couldn’t finish it with him watching me like a hawk. Blast.

Action: He started talking about how he couldn’t get this song out of his head, and that he had to go and listen to it. I asked him to let me listen to it, so we went to his room and lounged on the bed. Well, at some point we started kissing. I initiated it – I’m impatient, lol – and I thought it was going to be your run of the mill kiss, but it wasn’t. All of  a sudden, I felt like I had unleashed a ferocious demon, because that boy … wow.  He surprised me a lot that night. We didn’t sleep together, though. I let him know that I only get with guys I am seriously committed to. He respected that, but it was still a night to remember. He did try to get me outta my clothes, but i didn’t have any of it. I was able to match his stubbornness.

Reflection: Well, it might have only been one night, but he managed to slip under my skin and get past all my armor effortlessly. I felt like I had met the guy i was gonna be with, but alas! it wasn’t to be.

Aftermath: I paid dearly for that wonderful night sans sex. I got emotional trauma, I couldn’t stop thinking about him at all. I had serious withdrawal symptoms; my dark side showed its face. I sent him a message and told him that he didn’t exist to me anymore and that that night hadn’t happened. Worst part was that I kept seeing him – we have lessons in the same building – and every single time I’d catch him looking at me. It was like someone stabbing at a barely healed wound. Even though i hated him, I still wanted him.

Decision: I decided that I really couldn’t go on the way I was, so I decided to send him a message informing him of how exactly I felt in fine, scary and deep detail. At the end of this message, I told him that I didn’t expect him to reply to the message and that I didn’t really want him to either – even though i did. He didn’t reply. Sigh. I showed my best friend the message. She said I shouldn’t have sent it and that it was too deep and too soon. She was right, and I knew that at the beginning. I just didn’t care, I wanted him to run – like men do in these situations – and kill any hope I had that we could be together. After my best friend’s reaction, I decided to write a 5 sentence message basically saying that it was a false call and that I didn’t really feel that way about him. This was a complete hoax. I still liked him way too much. (I still do, but it’s getting slightly better.) Anyway, he didn’t react or anything. I simply can’t read him, but after that last message, well, I saw him by the elevator and the expression on his face was thunderous. (I’d hate to think it was loathing.) Since then, i’ve texted him asking if we could be friends, and all I’ve gotten is silence.

Interpretation: Last time I saw him was at a movie viewing with a bunch of our friends at his house, and he kept fidgeting where he was seated. I left early, didn’t really see the point. The movie was crap and nothing was going to happen. Since then, i’ve only seen him once and he didn’t look too bothered. We are always passing by each other. There is no other way to put it, but he has pretty much moved on. Sigh.  I wish he hadn’t, but there is no other way to interpret it. There’s no hope.

Evaluation: Tangling with a Scorp is dangerous but exciting. Just be extra cautious and keep your wits and emotions about you until you have a ring on your finger. Am kidding. Do it until there’s no confusion about the fact that you are his woman. Even though it was over before it really started, I feel like I came close to knowing what it feels like to have been completely connected with someone. Mind and soul. I probably sound like a naive girl, but I wasn’t until he came into my life. At least now i know not to believe beautiful lies. They are good people, just really hard to understand. I hope you didn’t mind my sharing this story with you guys.

1. Leave your insecurities at the door. We all have them, yes.  But if you’re going to handle this ride, you’re going to have to be as confident and self-assured as possible.  Though he may be flattering and complimentary at times, he also has a tendency to be brutally honest, no matter whose feelings it hurts.  And he doesn’t see why it should bother you anyway.  So don’t even try to argue  with him why it’s mean to ask you if your ass got bigger.  He was just asking an honest question.  And who knows, he might like the fact it did … even if he doesn’t say. 

2. Accept the double standard. Yeah, it’s not fair.  But who ever said life was going to be?  He has his set of rules to play by and a set he assigns to you.  This isn’t to say though, that you can’t add a few of your own for yourself.  In fact, though he might give you a hard time for it, deep down he’ll respect you more.  Just know it will most often be “do as I say, not as I do.”  In the long run, you’ll spare yourselves both a lot of time and energy not arguing this point.  Protest a little if it makes you feel better, but pacify him with this trait and he’ll be far more kind and loving.  And that’s all you really want anyway.

3. Learn to read in between the lines. In the underworld, what you see is not what you get.  There’s a whole lot more going on behind the scenes.  If someone’s ever accused of reading to much into things, you’ll do well with this lesson.  Because you need to read into everything.  He’s communicating with you, it’s just probably not in a language you understand.  No means yes.  I hate you means I love you.  Go away means come here.  Not always, but sometimes.  You’re going to have to get adept at reading his mind and learning his ways.  But rest assured, he’s sending strong messages.  You just need to learn how to decipher them.

4. Be sexually open. I’m not saying you have to be a nympho, but be comfortable with your sexuality.  Be open to all things sex encompasses.  For him it’s not just about getting your jollies, it’s not even just about an emotional connection.  It’s everything.  This could be anything from educating himself on a new position to as far out as a spiritual awakening.  It can be – and often is – a form of communication and evolution.  But whatever it is, it’s transformational for him.  Be open with your body, your mind, your heart and your soul.  For you too will be transformed in the process.

5. Don’t need him. Act like you need him, let him need you, but don’t need him to survive.  Be self-sufficient. Be able to walk away. Be able to stand alone and be alright with that.  This is not to say to not love or be devoted or even attached to him.  Just know there will be times he may withdraw back into the underworld and you will be left alone.  Not forever, just for the time being.  If you can ride out these moments, and take care of yourself, you will be rewarded upon his return.  Sometimes you may need to coax him back into the light, sometimes he wants you to come rescue him, but do so gently and patiently.

6. Be okay with moodiness. When you’re as sensitive as this sign is, you’re susceptible to the moods and feelings of everything around you.  This can be very taxing on them, and it’s sometimes difficult for them to understand where they stop and everyone else begins.  Chances are, unless you’re another fellow Scorpio, he’s got a larger repertoire of emotions and feelings than you do.  So there’s more to go through.  Be patient, be understanding, but don’t be a doormat.  If he’s acting out, feel free to call him on it – in a firm, unemotional way – and have an exit plan to relieve yourself from it until the waters calm down a bit.  A simple “I understand you’re upset, but i don’t care to listen to this. I’m going to get my nails done and relax while you work this out for yourself.  I will be back later this afternoon and maybe we can go see a movie if you’re feeling up to it.”  He may not like it, but chances are – when you return and with a little head-patting and reassurance of love – he’ll move into one of his many loving moods and all will be right in the world. For now, at least.

7. Let him win. Or at least let him think he did.  Put up a good fight. He likes the challenge, but there will more peace in the land if you just let him win.  And if it’s something you absolutely have to have go your way, let him think it was his idea.  And if you’re super clever, even argue against your own point.  He likes being contrary, so he’ll naturally gravitate to the other side of the argument, even if he agrees with you deep down.  Reverse psychology goes a long with this sign. Learn to master it.

8. Don’t apply emotional pressure. He’s got enough of that in himself. Yours are going to throw him over the edge.  So that means when those angry tears start erupting from your eyes and your voice starts hitting those shrill high notes, he’s about ready to bounce.  And don’t expect him to be nice about it.  He’s going to shut down and you’ll get that Scorponic chilliness they are so famous for.  You don’t have to bottle up your feelings, but don’t launch an attack with them. He may be liable to launch back … and at your weakest moment.  Tell him you’re upset, let a few tears drop, but excuse yourself until you can speak about it a calm manner. You’ll save yourself a lot more tears with this preventative measure.

9. Be real – always. Don’t pretend to be interested in things he is if you’re not. Don’t fake emotions if you’re not feeling them. Don’t portray yourself one way when you’re really something else. He can see you for who you really are. He may even know things about you that you don’t even know about yourself. But any attempt to be other than authentic will have him immediately mistrusting you – and you’ve practically lost the game if that happens. And don’t be scared to show him the not so pretty sides. He appreciates them because he knows we all have them. 

10. If you think love should be easy, walk away now. He doesn’t, and love is not an easy journey for him.  So his relationships will not be either. That doesn’t mean they won’t be fulfilling or worthwhile, they just won’t be easy. But that’s not a bad thing. The good things in life often aren’t easy.  And sometimes it’s the blood, sweat and tears that make them so rewarding in the end. He’s just not going to be the easiest person to deal with, but he knows that.  And he understands – to a certain extent – your frustration.  But if you can understand him and appreciate him for his extreme ways, he will be more loyal and more devoted to you than most while creating a life for you both that is nothing short of breathtaking.

• Is it the way he practically stalks you wherever you go? Is it his piercing gaze that never loosens it’s grip when he’s in your vicinity?
• Is it the audacity of his words that make you blush with the feeling that you’ve just been stripped naked in public?
• Is it his sharp wit that makes your conversations the funniest, deepest, easiest you’ve ever encountered?
• Is it that frustrating feeling that you never really know anything personal about him?
• Is it the feeling of utter security you have in his presence? Is it the barely detectable undercurrent of earth-shattering emotions that vibrate in his being, or is it his gorgeous, super sensual, hyper masculine looks?
• Or, God forbid, is it, if you’re unlucky enough, ALL of the above???

From the moment of the first glance … or word … or vibe that made you both notice each other, it may take a lot or a little until an actual significant move is being made. You may be the first to make it, or it may be him. You may have to go through excruciatingly long periods of time when all that you do is chat, gaze and hardly touch each other. You may barely meet. You may have to exchange witty hints, cheeky looks, light brushes against his body and all of this may seem to take an eternity. Or you may not … you may get straight to business.

But no matter what, you definitely have to be a certain kind of woman. It’s up to each Scorp to decide what that is to him, so I can’t reveal a general list of traits you must exhibit. You definitely have to be emotionally strong, patient, passionate, sensual, stable, trustworthy, deep, sensitive and caring. There. I gave you a list. But unfortunately this is not all. There’s that “thing” you have to have to ignite his interest, and THAT differs from Scorp to Scorp. And then there’s a set of interests, pursuits and expectations that have to match or intrigue his – but that’s more for the long run. I’m saying this, because attracting a Scorp and keeping him are totally different things, and right now, we’re only talking about the first stages…

So, once the first steps have been taken, the attraction acknowledged and the ice broken, you find yourself with this unusual creature you get strange chills around, and you want more. And he’ll definitely make sure that you do! Well, this is not something specific to Scorpio males only. It is normal to want more of something you like. What’s specific to Scorp males, however, at least to the one’s I’ve known, is what they do to keep you wanting more.

While other males might always start slow and go into a steady crescendo, Scorp males literally siege you. They exhibit hot passion right from the start. The things they tell you or do for you might take other males months to admit or do. You’re practically swept off your feet. You’re stunned, paralyzed, hypnotized. They immediately declare their enormous attraction to you, they say things about you you’d only dream of thinking yourself. They wrap you into their arms and you feel such fire you can barely believe it’s real. They look deep into your soul and seem to discover some of your deepest wants and needs, some of your darkest secrets and never admitted desires. And they seem to fulfill exactly that. They give you whatever you need and keep doing it until you’re irreversibly hooked. They act exactly like drugs. They slowly create addiction and co-dependence. They make themselves irresistible and irreplaceable.

You think, “Is he the one? Can he be anything less, when he’s seen so many deep, beautiful things about me that other men took a long time to discover and appreciate? Oh, God! Is he for real? Am I that beautiful, smart, fascinating, charismatic, sexy, desirable and practically unique creature? Is it going to be like this forever? Can I NOT want to spend my every second with him? Can I NOT dream of having his babies? Can I NOT ask him to marry me?”

But, ooopsss… That’s where you can fail and ruin such a wonderful thing. I’m not saying that everything he says or does may or may not be genuine. I’m just saying that your next step is crucial. Because, whatever you may hear, whatever he may do, his heart is not yet given. He hasn’t fallen in love with you, he has fallen in lust!!! He wants you, he wants to own you, control you, he wants to make love to you, he might even beg for it, in the sweetest, most passionate way ever, but he hasn’t fallen for you. While, you, my poor dear, might have!

So be careful! Your next move is everything. You may fall fast and deep and start needing his passion and companionship every second of every day and clinging to his every glance, word, kiss, hug … breath, or … you may be smart. The first option is, as I so painfully found out on my own, the wrong one. So the second is, logically, the winner.

Now don’t get me wrong. Being smart doesn’t imply being hurtful, cheating, game-playing, selfish, insensitive, immature, distant and frigid. It means doing or being whatever you did/was that attracted him to you in the first place. Keep being your sexy, cheeky, witty, sparkly, unpredictable, “bitchy” yet sensitive, trustworthy, caring and nurturing self. Keep up his interest! Make sure he doesn’t find out too soon when or whether you have fallen for him. Keep him guessing. Show him you’re a confident, strong, independent woman, with a life of her own. With your strong beliefs and passions, with your unbreakable set of values and ambitions. Always be true to yourself and never change just to please him. You’re either naturally good for him or you might as well drop it. Don’t make the mistake of switching from dating mode to relationship mode fast, cause he sure ain’t. Besides, the longer you take, the better you get to know him and the surer you are if he is/isn’t worth something serious. Don’t worry. As long as you keep it really harmless and fun and as long as you don’t overdo it, he’ll love it! With Scorp males there is a delicate balance between being bitchy and sensitive, assertive and submissive, unpredictable and stable, one that you have to instinctively find on your own. Nobody will be able to tell you the exact recipe. Not even them!

That’s why they are so exciting! They are not only this way themselves, they require you to be the same! In a world of double-standards – which is the Scorpio world – this is the fairest thing they allow. And the most challenging.

So, dear ladies, poor victims of the Enigma that Stings, don’t ever get fooled by their beautiful words and passionate loving. Their heart is a long, hard way from being totally yours. It will take months/years of literally hard labor and patience, they will put you through heaven and hell and they will test the sh*t out of you until they find it’s safe enough to entrust you with that most treasured, vital possession. So do the same! Think hard, think really hard! Assess him as objectively as you can … assess him as if you were buying him and paying with all your savings! We’re talking about investing your heart here, not just anything. And only if you find him worth your time and emotions, I repeat: only if you find him worthy of you, start traveling that long path!

Good luck!

When pressured by circumstances the lid blows off, their very existence is self-questioned and they come to a mode of Harakiri, and finally a resurgence to a new person. The newer person is not vertically evolved with greater morals or intelligence or effacement of destructive miasma of emotions; rather, it is a lateral evolution. From a Scorpio One they become Scorpio Two, who has acquired some more coping skills. The power of this woman is more of a finite ego power, albeit a very powerful on,e as opposed to the tuning in with nature and the universe to an infinite source. This power manifests itself in its intensity of application and she prides herself in it. Whatever is done is done so with an intensity, and the Scorp gal feels that the greater the intensity, the greater the power. Intensity and the source of it the ego is a finite one which exhausts itself and leads a trail of destruction wherever it goes.

When perverted, as in most cases, the power can manifest as manipulative mind games in love and in business. Such a person lacks compassion and is a sociopath. This is an extreme case of things gone wrong.

The one challenge for Scorpio gals is humility and the ability to efface the intensity factor as opposed to expressing, evading or repressing it. Playing it cool is not the same thing as genuine coolness. Authentic power comes from being at peace with oneself and with the others, even be it there are hoards of injustices on this planet.

The one slush that Scorpio girls have in plenty is Vanity. Here we need to make a distinction between pride, vanity and arrogance – all three of which are hallmarks of a powerful ego – and Scorpio gals have more of this ego power than the men do.

Pride is obsession and attention-seeking displays of yourself and your possessions, like a peacock flaunting its feathers.

Vanity is a social evil which comes out of meritocracy. For instance, owning a limousine is fine, but looking down upon the other man not owning one is bad. An attitude of if I am seen with this clown, it shall be degrading is vanity.

Arrogance is downright abuse of power.

I have often come across Scorpio gals who are caught at the crossroads between following their hearts in love vis a vis the misguidance of the ego. This can be demonstrated from the scenario from Wuthering Heights where the housekeeper Ellen questions Catherine. Catherine is torn between her heartful love of Healthcliff (a mere servant) versus the egocentric ambitious choice of marrying Edgar Linton ( a landlord).

Ellen (E): Why do you love Mr. Edgar
Catherine (C): He is young
E: Bad
C: He is handsome
E: Bad
C: He is handsome to be with
E: Bad
C: He is rich and I shall be the richest woman in this neighborhood
E: Worst of all.
C: And he loves me
E: You would love him without the last if he possess the first four qualities and with it you would not until he had former four attractions

That is when Cathy breaks down to confess that her love of Healthcliff is like the rock beneath and that for Edgar like the Autumn foliage which time shall change. She dreams a dream where the angels take her to Heavens (Edgar Linton’s palace) she cries to come home (to Heathcliff) and she is accursed and thrown down where she wakes up sobbing for joy. The ending of Cathy is a great tragedy and a death arising out of a severely asundered heart.

Oftentimes I have seen Scorp gals in such a dilemma between material ambitions, social acceptances and vainglorious aspirations and following the course of their heart. In the process, they break their lives as well as their significant others. Another case is one of Grace Kelly. I am not aware of any Heathcliff in her life but the Edgar was definitely HRH Rainier.

The challenge for a Scorp gal is be true to her heart and soul. What she thinks of as from her soul might in fact be just from the depth of her ego; this can be misguiding.

Adage: The heart has its way of which reason knows nothing and finally love sees you through. Seek ye the kingdom of heaven within yourself and these things shall be added unto you.

Following ones heart adheres to the highest psychological principle of self-esteem, self-love and honoring of ones self.

So I’ve decided to create a blog where you have the opportunity to write what it is that turns you on (and off) about Scorpios. Free free to be as creative as you want, as long as you don’t step on anyone’s toes by violating their privacy or their intellectual material.

My goal here is to have many authors and readers who have one “go to” place to discuss the zodiac sign that drives so many of us crazy.

So what are you waiting for? Take the first step!