there isn’t anything confusing about this….he is obviously in love with u but still lying 2 himself about how he trully feels. just ride it out and live ur life and when he figures it out, well…all the better.

I think you ladies are going to have to figure out a way to avoid all the damaged scorps out there, I would think you could scare them away from the onset or at least leave them alone when you start seeing some of these signs. If you’re into astrology and you can get their charts done you might want to avoid the ones with harsh aspects to their moon or other aspects that would make commitment hard like Saturn and Uranus.

lol I’m just saying for the ones that want to give up there probably are easier Scorpio men out there, otherwise you just have to go along with the way things are. And more power to you for sticking it out and going for what you want.

I think I’ve come to the realization that my Scorp is damaged in some way. There’s some bizarre mental wiring there that just does not synch in with reality or logic.

Sorry i disagree. People are complicated. Where that may be true some of thiem, it simply isn’t all of the time. I personally can be really head over heels for a guy and still want my space, still not want to talk to him often, still not want to move forward into a commitment until I’m absolutely ready, which can take months if not years. i can take it or leave it even with someone who i genuinely care for and has my heart. We have all own histories and baggage and personalities and some of us are just more complicated than others. It doesn’t make us players, it’s just we process and go about matters of the heart differently than the traditional ways.

And recently it comes to my attention, from hearing two stores for two seperate people that don’t even know each other – sometimes a person can not be into you that much in the beginning and then fall in love with you. I heard a story of a gemini that tried everything possible to avoid an aries woman. Four years later, they’re now getting married and he’s head over heals for her. Another couple i know (taurus and virgo) started of as a booty call type of relationship and now two years later they’re moving in together and are best of friends and adore each other. I myself was completely impartial to my pisxces ex when we first started dating and almost dumped him because i felt he was smothering me. Only to turn around a month later and realize I was head over heels in love with him. And that relationship lasted almost 14 years.

People all are unique. There is no one standard to how we behave towards anything much less about something as complicated as emotions. Quite honestly i think we do ourselves an injustice by picking up and running scared when things aren’t going the way we wish them to. Every situation is unique. You have to know yourself and trust your own judgement to be able to determine if the situation you’re in is right for you.

And keep in mind, i’ve seen plenty of guys woo women and commit to them only to see the women in miserable relationships down the road. So pick your poison.

I am sooooo tired of hearing this same argument.

THERE IS NO STANDARD TO HOW ANYONE ACTS!

This whole post aside, we are all unique human beings. We all have different wants and needs. We all have different likes and dislikes. So why, AS WOME -, because guys don’t do this – do we

1.) try to even tell other women that men aren’t in to them? Really? Are we that omnipotent? We really know THAT much about every other person on the face of the planet to judge whose into who? We are familiar with every single culture’s mating ritual? Every person’s past and personality? Our own love lives and past relationships are sooooo perfect that we can stand on some soap box and preach down to the poor, helpless other women that just don’t understand what we’ve come to know? To save them somehow form impending doom?

and

2.) Is it not a bit cruel and irresponsible to try to convince people that they are mistaken, aren’t being respected, aren’t loved, aren’t liked just because it doesn’t fit your own image of how things should be? And how do we even know that that is in fact how they SHOULD be? Are you God? Are there some commandments written somewhere?

You know what the real problem is?? It’s women. Not men. Women put insecurities into other women. Half of these things probably wouldn’t even be perceived this way if we weren’t all running around trying to fit into molds we don’t fit into, trying to fit our partners into some universal image of “good” that doesn’t exist and just overall making each other feel bad about ourselves. Because that’s what occurs when things like this get said.

Just kick back and enjoy the good times you have with someone, stop looking for problems and nitpicking your relationship and men apart and just get out there and live moment because that’s all you have. You beautiful love may turn rotten. Your prince may turn into a monster. And there are plenty statistics to back that up. Look at divorce rates.

If it doesn’t work out with one person, there’s another person. And sometimes, you know what, it’s you that’s not working out – not them. And likewise, what works for one person may not work for another. But you have to be secure enough in yourself as a person to know that and not look for validation from your partner and other people.

I could make a list longer than this blog would allow of the numerous things i’ve heard in my lifetime as criteria of a man being into you. He pays when you go out, he brings you flowers, he shows affection in public, he calls everyday, he goes down on you, he never makes you cry and on and on. But you know what? Men could have the same silly list for us. She always shaves her legs, she strokes your ego, she lets you go out with the boys, she cooks you dinner, she wears sexy lingerie, she gives blowjobs upon request. And ladies, we’d be pissed.

Personally in my life, ive had the guy that brought flowers and cooked me breakfast in bed and wrote love letters and left them on my car, that couldnt bare to be away from me and we had a long relationship. But it too was filled with all sorts of f-ed up human behavior that caused mutal pain and suffering and feelings of neglect in both of us. We’re now friends because we tried, and because we cared and would do anything for each other. But in our dark times all i heard from well meaning friends was negative crap that got me upset, made me feel bad about myself, made me doubt myself and made me doubt him and the love we shared. And i can say, now that i’m removed from the romantic aspect, it was all just $hit stirring. It didn’t help any. And none of it was true. That guy would give me the shirt off his back and the last dollar in his pocket if i needed it. As i would for him.

And then i met a guy that was totally the opposite. He put me through hell in the first year. Totally acted not like any man i’ve ever met. Because i had this same stupid idea in my head of how a man SHOULD act. And now it’s two years later and after a long and arduous struggle, things are finally easy and he’s talking marriage. Out of nowhere. We weren’t even inn a traditional committed relationship. But he says i’m the weirdest woman he’s ever met. And i say he’s the weirdest guy i’ve ever met. But we both came to agree it was because of our superficial expectations of how we though the other person should be. So all that struggle was just self-imposed.

People are just different. We screw ourselves when we expect others and life to go a certain way. And THAT’S what causes our suffering.

So to all the women that want to talk about having self respect and healthy relationships and what not, try respecting your fellow sisters and their lives before you go laying down the law. Because your law is just your opinion. And opinions are like a$$holes, everyone’s got one.

Because i promise you this, there’s at least one thing in YOUR relationship I wouldn’t put up with if you held a gun to my head. So please don’t judge mine.

Oh and I meant to say…YOU SAID IT COUNTESS!! I type too fast and I cant spell worth $hit!

And, I’m not saying this personally, but if you hang onto some guy for months, years, etc. How do you know he’s not settling for you because there isn’t anything else? How can you have a relationship built on a foundation of trust after he’s put you through the ringer or the fwb play? How do you really know if he respects you? What if he is great for a while and then something else comes along? If he cheated on you before, how can you trust him not to do it again? If he never calls you, how do you know if he really wants to be with you?

I have a lot of guy friends (some who are jerks) who tell me how they will keep girls around for sex or just for their ego or they just don’t want to hurt her even though they’d never date her so they will answer her texts every once in a while. Guys tell me all the time that they hang out with a girl because she’s easy sexually or she’s just always available and always wanting him, so it’s easier.

IMO, many women would rather hang on to some guy who doesn’t care about them, doesn’t respect them, etc. than admit to themselves that he just doesn’t like them. And that is just sad (not pathetic, just sad). And many women stay with jerks because they feel like it’s all they deserve subconsciously. Or the don’t want to rock the boat (i.e. it’s better to have a crappy relationship or like a jerk than to not have anything going on in that department).

I think that if a man is cheating on you, disrespecting you, only meeting you for sex, abuses you, lies constantly, never contacts you first, etc. It’s pretty damn obvious he doesn’t like you in MOST circumstances. The flowers, kissing in public bs, going down on you, isn’t what I’m talking about here. I’m talking about his character and the foundation of the relationship. I’m not saying the problems are always his, but! I do think that women can weed out a lot of jerks by expecting to be treated with respect, given honesty and faithfulness. If those aren’t there, IMO, there is NO relationship or love.

No man that loves you is going to stand you up for no reason, cheat on you (that is a choice, never a “mistake” – And I’ve cheated), lie to you constantly, not establish a relationships and only have sex with you, never show you respect, etc. That is what I’m talking about.

I feel you Bee.

I actually out of curiousty started researching this topic.. and i was shocked by what I learned.. everything that you describe about Scorpio is so true! my boyfriend is exactly like it.. one day we have the most amazing day and then the next we won’t text or even call me the whole day.. its not that he doesn’t want to spend time.. its that he has to put on this act that he is a cold hearted asshole.. I just sit back and let him have his alone time because I know at the end of the day I will be with him.. and secretly I have won… I just lead him to believe he has the control makes things so much easier.

@snowbird – i may not be the best person to answer this question because of my own personal recent experience. Back in march i actually lost my scorpio to a situation very similar. we had a fight, it was a bad one, but we had had those before so i thought he’d just get over it.

Well he REALLY got over it. He refused to speak to me and 4 weeks later was in a relationship with a woman that look suspiciously like me. I’ve only heard from him once since this all happened and it was back in the middle of may. He sent me an email that very simply said, “sometimes…i miss our talks.”

That’s thing with scorpios, they appear much tougher than they are. And they have a natural sting to their being which can make them worthy adversaries. But you could have said one simple sentence that utterly destroyed them and yet theyd never let you know. Or at least, they won’t let you know until they’ve gotten over the devastation of it. This was a trait i never realized until the later days of our relationship. A handful of times he’d refer back to something that had happened months ago and tell me just how much it upset him. And yet i would be baffled because i had no idea, and often didnt mean any harm at the time.

So if your man is acting weird, he probably is wounded. If you should call or not, i don’t know. They want to know you care but they also want to be left alone. So it’s a fine line.

This may sound cheesy, but there’s one big thing that i learned with my scorpio. and it was a very good thing for me to learn as air sign in aquarius. but i learned to have to rely more on my gut emotion and less on my head. If i listened to my heart, i did the right things. And he came closer to me. If i let my thoughts run away, or let logic and criticism get going, i would make a mess of things.

So i say go with it when you feel it. And then you’ll do the right thing.

To the Countes, im so sorry about ur scorp and u, it seemed to me yall had the right ingredient, but these scorpio males, i guess its like just rolling the dice, u never know what the outcome will be, but i wish u peace and comfort as much as i wish it for myself, june