Well said there Thecountess

My beef is with the new school of relationship dogma. We’ve swung so far to one side of the scale that in our attempts at equality and happiness, we take out the human factor. None of us are perfect. We will all hurt and be hurt, even if it snot intended. I say, if you’re strong, ride those mmoments out until you can see them for what they really are, not what you perceive them to be – because our perceptions are usually tainted by insecurities, fear, the past, etc. and this can make us our own worst enemies. In fact, i do believe its the root of all evil in the world in any situation.

@Dolores – when you call other women an ass , it only reflects upon you. Don’t spill your regret upon others. You’re the one that spent 22 years in a situation that didn’t serve you well, not us. Don’t push your situation on other people. You are your own person and have your own unique views that maybe other women wouldn’t even have after 22 years. But also do yourself a favor- dont feel battled down, used and abused by the rough times in those 22 years. Fell worthy and strong from what you went through. Feel wise, not jaded. You are a better person, a stronger person, a wiser person. Whatever occured, he did you a favor. And if it was reallllllyy horrible, everything else in the future will seem like cake in comparison. Turn that story around. You didn’t come out on the bottom. You came out on top.

Ladies if you find a man on earth worthy enough to expend your heart, soul, energy and time deciphering all this shit just to make him happy….your an ASS. I was in love with and spent 22 years….thats right 22 fucking years throwing my pearls before a Scorpio swine, and do you know what I got for all my “playing by the rules” and dedicating my life to this addict, low life womanizing peice of shit????? NOTHING BUT HEARTBREAK AND CRUELTY. My advice….RUN….NOW…..DONT WAIT…..JUST GO….and tell him to fuck himself from now one on your way out the door. There are so many beautiful loving, adoring men in this universe, why would any woman in her right mind try to find paradise in Hell. PULEASE.

2. Sure, if it’s a little problem. But if my mate is doing something that is such a double standard that it sacrifices my own self-respect/dignity, I will stand up for that. I don’t like inequality.

3. I totally agree with you about the fighting stuff. I hate yelling and the whole explosion. It’s a lot harder to learn the proper way to fight ie. being open and honest and not being snappy. And I do agree women do this a lot. But I think that men can do it too, or at least escalate the problem with bringing in the yelling. And then the woman amps it up and then the man again, etc. It’s like a never ending spiral and I don’t think that is necessary. Me and my boyfriend don’t agree on everything (Gemini and Scorpio, of course!! lol), but even though we argue, we both know it doesn’t have to get to that level. I’m probably the one with the bigger temper, and thankfully he’s awesome and rarely rises to the occasion and he usually absorbs my emotions pretty well. I dunno, but he’s not the very “attacking” kind of Scorpio.

5. Maybe I didn’t make my point very clear. I don’t believe anyone can save another person, therapist, family member, etc. Sure we can encourage and discipline according to what is necessary in whatever relationship there is, where client/therapist, parent/child, etc. Within a relationship too, we can encourage someone to get better. But!!! I believe that only the person who is afflicted can make the choices and steps to make themselves better. People can give them the tools, information, etc, but it’s up to the person to actually change. (You can lead a horse to water, but can’t make them drink – that sort of a thing.)

7. I agree. I do win arguments often, but he wins some too. I guess it takes a bit of humbleness to try and meet the needs of what needs to be fixed. But I do think that ego can get in the way. If there is something wrong, I will probably argue to hell and back, but I will still recognize that I do need to work on something and I will make efforts to try, even though I’m pretty stubborn with my words.

8. I would agree.

10. I don’t think a couple that never fights is healthy either. But the way they fight is key. I see way too many couples who get so hot headed that they lose it and call each other names and say really hurtful things to each other, and then five minutes later they are having “make up sex”. And then do the same cycle all over again. That is not healthy at all, in my opinion, if they don’t actually fix the problem they are arguing about. And so many couples fight like hell over the silliest things and think that they are just passionate because they fight, which in my opinion isn’t passion at all, but adrenaline.

1.) The point i was trying to make was not about rudeness but more tact. It’s definitely rude and flat abusive to call some one a fat ass. What i was trying to convey is that scorpios sometimes don’t realize how people perceive the things they say. That particular example was actually from my own personal life when my scorpio flatly asked if my ass got bigger. There was no derrogatory tone and he said bigger not fatter. I, being a woman, immediately became defensive and a bit insulted by the question, to which my scorpio was surprised and replied that he in fact liked it a bit more voluptuous. Again, the point being – scorpios sometimes have an abrupt way of stating things. I’ve also noticed they are honest to a fault. If you ask them how you look in an outfit, or in a certain shade of lipstick, they will give your their honest opinion, not one to spare your feelings. But they do this as an act of benevolence not degradation.

2.) as far as double standards go, quite honestly, most of us have them. We expect people to behave in certain ways but are often blind to the fact we don’t do the same. Scorpios just seem to be a bit more blatant about it. I fully believe, as i stated in the post, that you should argue it – I think they respect you more for it if you make a valid point. But they are fixed sign and often are stubborn to admit they might be being unfair. I said to accept it, not condone it. You can accept someone’s nature and their flaws by acknowledging them, even if you try to work on them with your partner. But sometimes, as with everything, it’s good to choose your battles wisely. There are somethings just not worth fighting over. If it doesn’t prevent you from being the person you are, but are just minor squabbles, sometimes a little give goes a long way. We all have places where we could use some accommodation…even if it doesn’t seem “fair” to our partners.

3. Some people, and not just scorpios, require more personal and alone time that others. This can confuse their partners and leave them to feel it’s personal towards them, when in fact it is not. Scorpios, along with a few other signs, often need time to process things, unwind, contemplate and reflect. If they are not allowed this time, it can cause them to become overwhelmed or high strung. This shouldn’t be considered at a slight to their partners. If anything their partners should respect that need and encourage it where they can because all it is a stress relieving practice.

As for as people yelling i hate you when they mean something else…well human’s don’t always communicate very well. Take most couples fights and you’ll hear a bunch of words that are not really reflective of what they really want to say. Many people become defensive when really they’re just threatened due to their own insecurities. I actually find women, more often than not, are prone to saying everything under the sun except what they really mean when they are injured. For example: a jealous woman may say to her partner, “well if you like suzie at your office so much that you have to stay late to work and miss dinner with ME than maybe you should go be with suzie.” When really what that woman wants to say is, “i’m scared you’re romantically interested in suzie and may have lost interest in me. Please say something that lets me know this isn’t true and reaffirms your feelings for me.” But most of us girls, don’t talk that way. We should but in the heat of the moment we don’t. My point was, scorpios aren’t always very clear about their true feelings, especially if they feel threatened or vunerable. They go into attack mode to preserve themselves. Hence why they were assigned a scorpion as their mascot.

5. You may have a point. Or maybe it’s modern psychology. I myself am always very concerned with aspects of co-dependcy. This is due to the generation I grew up in. On on hand, no you cant be responsible for someone’s happiness. It’s their choice. But on the other hand, you can help facilitate it. A partner can surely make another partner happy…and they surely can make one UNHAPPY. A kind word, a loving gesture, a gift – these things generally make people happy. I think if you try to make someone happy because you WANT them to be happy, not because you feel the need to or will feel guilt if you don’t is what makes it a positive thing as opposed to a negative thing

As for rescuing, that’s a word with a heavy connotation, one that has gained a bit of bad rap in the past couple decades. But you can reach out to people, you can attempt to save them from themselves. This is what our friends do for us when they advise us to slow down if our thoughts are running away from us. This is what therapists and counselors do when they help us with our issues. This is what families do when they intervene people on destructive paths. So I will state, it is not guaranteed that anyone can rescue someone but i do not believe it is impossible, nor that we should stop trying.

7. No wins ALL the time. And again, sometimes it’s a matter of giving to get. It’s only ego that makes us want to win. It doesn’t always serve a noble a point. I say throw a dog a bone if it gets them to relax and make your life easier.

8. Emotional displays of any kind can be perceived as attacks or make people uncomfortable. We all react differently under pressure. And ingrained in our dna is flight or fight syndrome when pressure occurs. Your emotional responses may not threaten your mate, which is good. That’s a nice sense of compatibility. But even without that compatibility, relationships can still be very solid. It just takes learning your partner well and learning to adapt to their ways. Many people get very overwhelmed and feel out of control of a situation with someone’s emotional responses. This could be due to how they were raised, due to previous encounters, due to the response themselves. But particularly sensitive people absorb all that energy in more detrimental ways than less sensitive people that have a defense mechanism to it. You could scream and yell in front of one person and it barely phase them but do that to someone that grew up in a household where no one raised their voice and they’re likely to react in a quite a different way. There’s nothing wrong with walking away from a confrontation or if you feel you can’t deal with a situation under the conditions that are in place. In fact, it’s necessary sometimes. A little cool down period always does good. But just like the saying goes, don’t dish it if you can’t take it. But a scorpio is not afraid of serving it right back up. This is a sign not afraid of confrontation.

10. All relationships, just like people, have their good points and their bad points. Some couples argue alot. Some couples hardly ever argue. But sometimes the couples that argue alot have a healthier relationship and accomplish things through their arguing than the couple that pretends everything is ok and lets things fester.

Some relationships are easy. And some are challenging. But sometimes the easy ones aren’t very fulfilling. And sometimes the challenging ones change our lives in very profound ways. Some people are easy to get along with and go with the flow and some people are difficult and have strange ways. But each of them has positive things to offer another person. You just have to be able to decide what works for you. As strange as it sounds, I’m the type of person that likes a little bit of conflict. I like to argue – I want someone to challenge me, i want someone to disagree with me. Because this makes me grow as a person. This forces me to see things differently. To think. It gets me excited, gets my blood pumping, gets my adrenaline going. For some people arguments DO create passion. And for many arguments diffuse it. But arguments don’t need to be damaging or destructive. They just need to be engaging. It’s also a form of bonding for me. Arguments can push boundaries. Going past those previously set boundaries and seeing your partner is still there and still loves you can create stronger bonds, which allow you to grow together instead of drifting apart. Some people absolutely would be appalled by such a relationship and feel very uncomfortable. It’s just personality.

But scorpios aren’t ones to settle for the easy road. They’re more like to take the bumpy and treacherous one less traveled. They’re not afraid to have an ideal that is difficult, if not painful to attain and yet dedicate their life to doing such. To me that’s admirable.

2. Again, I disagree. I put up a fight whenever I felt there was a double standard and my fiance hasn’t become less loving or giving because of it. In fact if anything, he has become more affectionate and loving.

3. Again, this is totally wrong. It’s like telling women they should accept and even feel lucky to be pushed away, told they are hated, etc. Talk about not respecting yourself!

4. This one is pretty true. You don’t have to do it all the time or be his sex slave, but sex is important as it is in any relationship.

5. Don’t need him. => This should be true for any relationship. But rescuing him? No. Encourage him, be sensitive, nurture him, sure, but rescuing someone is impossible. It’s impossible to be responsible for someone else’s happiness.

6. Sure.

7. Um, I win all the time and it doesn’t make him hate me or not be attracted to me anymore. Sure he is stubborn, but when I’m right and he knows it, he’s not going to hate me for making my point and sticking to it.

8. Um, no. I’m a crybaby and he is always gentle and sweet and never takes advantage of this. And a man you attacks you while you are crying or emotional or doesn’t accept that part of you is not ready to be in a relationship.

9. Be real – always. => True for any relationship.

10. Sure love is tough, but it’s not a constant battle either. So many women confuse arguments for passion and it’s not. Sure there will always be arguments, but there is a good way to handle them and a bad one.

Incidentally, I have an Aquarius Rising with 5 planets in Aries in the 3rd house. I think those placements are more than enough to withstand a Scorpion attack, heh.